People Watching

Housemate obviously hasn't heard the phrase 'leave it how you found it'. Every morning without fail, either myself or R enter the bathroom to discover dirt, dust, sock fluff and pubic hair clogging up the plughole. It takes approximately 10 seconds to rinse out the bath, but even this seems to be too much effort for some people. That isn't all though. You can trust that the sink will also be covered in spat out toothpaste and food debris. I suppose he thinks that it's a good enough job that he actually brushes his teeth. Let me tell you it's not. I could also mention the fact that he leaves the toilet seat up EVERY SINGLE TIME, but let's just say that's hardly a surprise all things considered.

Neighbours haven't yet realised that if you leave your lights on and your curtains open at night people can and will see inside your house and discover all your dirty little secrets.

Like the fact that your having a domestic in your kitchen. Husband definitely just got slapped by wife 3 times. Wife is now throwing plates on the kitchen floor while husband repeatedly shouts fuck you.

Like the fact that you have porn plastered all over your bedroom walls and have clearly never ever had a girlfriend, not to mention sex of any kind, in your life. You make up for it by being super cool because your mate lets you drive his moped really fast (10 mph) around the kids playground, and you like to listen to 90's garage and shout abuse at anyone who happens to walk down your road.

Now I just have to find somewhere to bury the body of the dog that I will inevitably kill if it refuses to stop barking daily at 7am...