People Watching

Housemate obviously hasn't heard the phrase 'leave it how you found it'. Every morning without fail, either myself or R enter the bathroom to discover dirt, dust, sock fluff and pubic hair clogging up the plughole. It takes approximately 10 seconds to rinse out the bath, but even this seems to be too much effort for some people. That isn't all though. You can trust that the sink will also be covered in spat out toothpaste and food debris. I suppose he thinks that it's a good enough job that he actually brushes his teeth. Let me tell you it's not. I could also mention the fact that he leaves the toilet seat up EVERY SINGLE TIME, but let's just say that's hardly a surprise all things considered.

Neighbours haven't yet realised that if you leave your lights on and your curtains open at night people can and will see inside your house and discover all your dirty little secrets.

Like the fact that your having a domestic in your kitchen. Husband definitely just got slapped by wife 3 times. Wife is now throwing plates on the kitchen floor while husband repeatedly shouts fuck you.

Like the fact that you have porn plastered all over your bedroom walls and have clearly never ever had a girlfriend, not to mention sex of any kind, in your life. You make up for it by being super cool because your mate lets you drive his moped really fast (10 mph) around the kids playground, and you like to listen to 90's garage and shout abuse at anyone who happens to walk down your road.

Now I just have to find somewhere to bury the body of the dog that I will inevitably kill if it refuses to stop barking daily at 7am...

Missed Opportunities

When I booked tickets to see Bombay Bicycle Club in December last year, the excitement was bubbling inside my stomach like hot tea that's been drunk too quickly.

When the time finally came to actually seeing the band, 7:00pm on Tuesday 16th February if you were wondering, the lukewarm bubbling had progressed to boiling point.

The evening had all the promise of a great night out. Good friends, great music, a couple of glasses of Tesco's finest £4 bottle of chardonnay (and who says student's can't be classy?). What wasn't so promising was our ability to keep time. We figured that the doors to the gig would open at 7. There were two support acts up first who we weren't too bothered about and therefore reasoned that BBC would make an appearance at 10pm at the earliest.

Misjudged it.

When we turned up at half nine after a few more than two glasses of wine, we weren't even surprised to hear we had missed the band. Of course we had, what the hell did we think would happen. We spent about an hour taking the piss out of pervy old men and their wrinkly willies on chat roulette. (Why has this become a new pre-drinking tradition!?)

What we did not need to hear upon stepping out of the cab were the words "they were amazing, you missed such a good show!" Thanks guys, I'll keep that in mind for when a time machine is invented and your opinion is helpful in affecting my choice of memory to re-live.

Words cannot do justice to the anger, embarrassment, and upset I felt at missing the band.

I vowed not to make the same mistake ever again, especially not when I go to see Ricky Gervais at the end of April...

Oh what's that Uni? You've set TWO exams for the day after? Absolutely bloody fantastic. Looks like my share of luck for this year has already dried up...and its not even March.